It's Only Training
by SilverflowerXRavenpaw
Summary: An apprentice is slain in training. How does his mentor cope?


**Adderfang**

My apprentice and I sparred often. I valued fighting skills above all else, and I was prepared to get injured even somewhat seriously. Of course, we would stop fighting to get looked at by the medicine cat, but other than that our breaks were few. We would train long into the night, and only eat once a day.

Of course, my apprentice got tired sometimes and that would take away the fun, but both of us knew it was valuable. If we couldn't stand to _spar_ for very long, he would die in a real fight. I was careful not to kill him; I gave him breaks when he desperately needed them. But I made sure he knew war you didn't have that option.

I always made sure he was alright. I wanted him to push himself, to be as good as possible, but I didn't want him to kill himself. I told him to keep quiet about wounds he thought were miniscule. A scratch in his side or a thorn in his foot were bearable, he should push through. But if he had a big wound, he should tell me. Sometimes I didn't fight quite as properly as I should against my apprentice.

At least, that's what I told myself. I couldn't accept what I had done, how bad of a mentor I was. It was just another spar, it shouldn't have taken this turn.

We had been sparring, and had been doing so since dawn. I had noticed some blood, but Sparrowpaw didn't mention it and so I ignored it. I thought he was smart enough to know what was dangerous and what wasn't. I had been a long battle and I was ready to start fighting dirty in order to throw him off.

He had expected it, much to my excitement. He was becoming prepared for all my tricks. He dodged my blow, which was definitely good. It would have bashed his head up hard enough for us to stop if he didn't. He counterattacked well; I almost was unable to dodge it.

My response must've been too harsh, since he wasn't getting back up. _You idiot! He's just an apprentice, avoid the belly!_ His small wounds had torn open and he was still bleeding. I was overwrought with guilt and despair. My leader had trusted me with an apprentice and I had failed her.

 _You should've let him play more, his body would've recovered better. You should've let him hit you, let yourself lose now and then. He wouldn't have let himself get killed._ I kept beating myself up. I just couldn't stop, I was so distressed.

 _What are you thinking? He's not dead!_ I relaxed a little when I realized that, but looking at his state I realized he was still hopeless. He was bleeding out of so many places, and his eyes were closed. His breathing was unsteady, it came in short gasps.

I didn't know if he was still conscious, and I went over to comfort him. Suddenly he talked.

* * *

 **Sparrowpaw**

I lay there, bleeding out, recalling the day's excitement. Adderfang and I had been sparring, and I had some cuts. It didn't seem like anything serious, so I kept going.

He started trying to fight dirty, but I caught him. I dodged him and almost snagged his forehead when he turned me and I entered a world of pain. Blood was oozing out of my sides, and I was slowly falling asleep.

When I finally woke up I found myself in the medicine den. I had cobwebs all over, and it hurt to move at all. Adderfang seemed really upset, and he was giving off mourning wails. _He must think I'm dead!_ I tried to speak to let him know I was awake, but I couldn't.

I lay there helplessly for heartbreaking moments, watching my mentor breaking. I couldn't move to let him know I was alive, I couldn't even force myself to _speak!_ I was such a wimp.

 _No you're not_. I couldn't stand for that. I felt a bit of adrenaline in me, and it was enough for me to move. I moved my leg as much as I could manage, and called out as Adderfang leaned over me. "Adderfang, I'm all right!"

He leapt backwards; apparently I scared him. "You are? You're alive?"

I chuckled a little at his surprise. "Of course. I couldn't let something like this kill me, I'd be a wimp." I was trying to soothe him, but when I coughed up blood I knew it wasn't going to work. "Adderfang, I failed you. I didn't become strong like I was supposed to." I was so disappointed in myself. I was going to die because of a spar!

"No!" We were both surprised at his intensity. "No, you didn't fail. You were amazing! You were way stronger than any apprentice, and you had tons of energy. You could've beat most of the warriors in a fight. I failed you. I should've noticed, I'm sorry."

My mentor was being ashamed to me, his underling. I didn't know what to think. "No, it was fun. I got really strong while it lasted." I could feel the strength fading from my veins, I wasn't going to be around much longer. "If you tell others about me, don't let them know I died in training."

"Of course." Adderfang stared at me with such admiration, I knew his words were truth. I dropped my head and breathed my last, knowing I had served my purpose. _StarClan, take me. I'm ready._


End file.
